1) Make sure to start your day with a lot of Nutella, they don’t eat things like eggs and potatoes here so be prepared to eat lots of bread and Nutella. Don’t skip the coffee you’ll need the energy.
2) Do not wear athletic shoes with the exception of Converse. The French have three looks Super Buisnessy, Frumpy Gypsy Thieve, and relatively normal casual dress. Don’t worry you won’t be able to pull of any of these looks like the French do. So be prepared to wear a lot of super pointy high heels, tights with your shorts and lots of scarves. This season flowery genie pants are also an alternative.
3) Never leave the house without your metro card.
4) Bring an IPOD or book (in French) on the metro. It acts as two things a distraction device for you and a cock block device for creepy French men.
5) NEVER smile. Just don’t refrain at all time. This is the number one give away that you are american.
6) Rarely say excusez-moi or pardonne…because they won’t say it to you. Be prepared to have your personal space invaded. Make a game out of invading others personal space (creepy but it will help you fit in)
7) Never use a map. And carry a baguette under your arm or in your bag.
8) Drink a lot of wine. But, not too much because the French will not tolerate drunkenness…soooo watch yourself.
9) Eat stinky cheese, and don’t shower. It is okay to be smelly, you’ll fit in just fine. It does take some getting used to.
10) If you get homesick you should do the following buy some chips, coco-cola, and chocolate and watch an american film on tv. there will be one. do not worry. (right now, Miss Congeniality) it will be in French but it will be recognizable.
11) If you want to get into a typical French debate ask anyone about Nickolas Sarkozy…or just mention America.
12) This is only the first part of surviving as an american in France. tooooo be continued.
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